Mum got pregnant to a Caribbean man and the relationship didn’t work so they separated. She was a single pakeha mum, pregnant with me, when the man who became my father fell in love with her.
I didn’t think I looked different until one day we were getting fish and chips. They took mum and dad’s order, then looked at me and said “And how can we help you?” I looked at my skin and knew I was different. I felt angry and trapped.
I came home one night stoned and drunk. My dad confronted me. I was ashamed. I flipped, went wild. Dad lost his temper and we started fighting like dogs. Mum was crying. I smashed the phone, ripped it out the wall. Mum said to dad “Either he goes, or I go.” I didn’t want to destroy my family.
It woke me up. Dad used his connections in the army and got me in. I started to find my feet.
When I came back from the army dad was in hospital – cancer. He was going to die.
I realised that there was more to life and that I needed a father. Dad taught me that adoption is real, it can be beautiful. To adopt someone into your heart is truly a miracle. That’s why I knew I could become a Christian and that god would accept me. Cause I’d experienced that in my family. Out of brokenness God can bring healing, not just for me but for other people too.
