What is the hardest/saddest moment of your life?
“To be real with you, I just recently broke up with my fiance. It’s still pretty raw. I’ve had to battle things that I have never had to wrestle with before. Panic attacks, deep sadness…even more darker thoughts.
But I’m walking away with some invaluable lessons and its what I’ve been through to learn these things that make it so invaluable. One is that I am capable of loving someone with everything I have. I’m actually quite proud of that lesson. I’ve always wondered what kind of man I would be in that situation. I’ve always aspired to be a hopeless romantic. To show utter abandonment to all that I deem as safe or ordinary. To go all in. And I did. I know that I have no regrets as I actually gave it my all. Unfortunately for me it didn’t work out, but I’m slowly becoming okay with it.
Her and I are still friends, and once I’m healed up a bit more, I trust and pray we can kick it again.
The second is that I am much more resilient and stronger than I think. Sometimes, I want the world to just stop for a second, to just let me catch a breath and let my head stop spinning. But I realise that’s not going to happen. The world will keep rotating, life will keep moving. Yes, I think its important to sit with whats happening, to be with how I’m feeling and be connected to whats happening inside. But I also know that I can CHOOSE how I feel. I can choose how I want to perceive things. I really believe that life is in seasons. That when its winter, you dress accordingly, not in speedos and jandles (not that I wear own a pair of speedos)…nah. Its so important to know what season you’re in aye. If its a tough one, then you prepare your mind and soul. The same with a good season. Embrace them. I have learnt that the sun will always rise after the night, its just a matter of time, “that this too shall pass”
I’m not completely out of the woods yet, but I know this is something I’m meant to go through…not set up home and live in.”