Emily would have been five this month. She was stillborn. I ended up in intensive care. I was discharged so I could attend her funeral. When Emily died I started collecting kids books. People from all over sent them to us on her behalf. We donate these books to the hospital to be given to parents and kids on the day they are waiting for surgery. On Emily’s 8 month anniversary her Dad and I got married. Ella was a honeymoon baby. She was born at 25 weeks. I was a complete emotional mess when I met her. We could fit our rings on her ankle and her head was the size of a pool ball. We spent 122 days in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive care unit).
When I lost Emily, there was a huge grief in me, but with Ella the grief is ever present as we are constantly learning new things that she can’t do. Seeing her in her motorised chair made it so painfully obvious that this was the first time she’s been able to truly explore! She wanted to go in and out of the bakery over and over to feel the flaps in the door running over her. Ella has had 13 surgeries so far, and we are fundraising to go overseas for two more to help her to walk. These surgeries will cost us $150,000. I have days where I’m staring at the ceiling asking what I’ve got myself into and will we have to sell our house? But other days I know we’ve got this.